Getaway, Exploded

My husband and I usually have a Getaway each autumn, often the first week of October.  We don't go far, but we must get far enough away that he can relax, which means we need to leave the valley.  We have found a resort only about 45 minutes away, and I have noticed a dramatic change in his tension levels, as soon as we emerge from the canyon and approach the town where the resort is located.  We have dinner, play a round of golf, watch a ballgame, go scuba diving, or whatever.  My goal is to help him to relax and refocus his mind:  I take books, walking shoes, and some knitting so I can read to him or entertain myself while he sleeps.  It is a refreshing and sweet experience for us both.

In anticipation of this, I put a gift certificate for a stay at this resort in his stocking last Christmas.  October approached and I made a reservation for one of the cottage suites.  We had plans to leave early on Friday and spend the day together before our resort stay in the evening.  But nothing worked according to plan.

Our youngest son gets out of school at one on Fridays, but nobody else would arrive until after three.  My husband picked up our son and brought him home, where they had lunch and watched some interesting shows on television.  With all the preparations and waiting, we weren't able to leave until after four.

We stopped at one of our favorite restaurants on the way, but they were not yet open for dinner.  Walking around for a half hour gave us time to visit and enjoy the mountainside, the fall colors, and the groups of people who were likewise taking advantage of the weather and scenery.  A cup of cocoa cut the chill of the air.  We were seated next to a fireplace and enjoyed some of our favorite autumn specials, but by the time we left it was too late for golf and it was beginning to rain.  We headed up the canyon to check into our room.

The parking lots at our hotel were full of unusual cars, many of which were restorations from the thirties and forties.  As we drove around in search of our room, we admired them and picked out our favorite colors and styles.  It was like going to a car show!

When we finally found the building where our room was to have been (at the back edge of the hotel complex) a party was in full swing and we could not locate our room.  It turned out that the party was being held on our front porch!  Dozens of people from the auto club were gathered there for their last night together.  Drinking probably made them a little deaf, for they had little volume control on their voices.  Our room was beautiful, the view of the sunset over the nearby golf course was stunning, but the experience was anything but private or relaxing.

We decided to make the best of things:  we drew all the drapes and began to pull the couch from the middle of the room over to the fireplace, so we could huddle together and hear one another read.  Somehow, the couch didn't want to move. My husband took one end and I lifted on the other, so we could pick it up and take it over; but his side was stuck. 

On the third try, he gave a firm lifting tug -- and the sparks flew!  The lights went out.  Without a word, we looked at each other and replaced the couch, then we telephoned the front desk to report our mishap.

Electrical outlets had been installed once in the floor, so lamps could fit on either side of a smaller couch and one of them was now shattered.  Live wires extending for several inches from under the couch made it unsafe for us to stay in our room.  There were no other rooms available.  We shook our heads, gathered our things, and accepted a rain check, intending to return home for the night.

Up the road was a bed and breakfast.  When we walked in, they tried to seat us for dinner.  It smelled heavenly, but we had already eaten.  Did they have a room?  No, said the host, but then the answer was amended -- they just had one, but someone had checked into it a few minutes before and then had decided against it, since it was on the ground level.  We took it -- and enjoyed reading Kipling and Frost by yet another fireplace.

We spent the morning watching General Conference and having a delicious breakfast, then we headed home.  On a downhill stretch of one-lane highway, we were pushed by a speeding car -- and both vehicles were ticketed!  It was an expensive trip.

We talked about the fun people we had met along the way and just laughed!  Though nothing worked as intended, everything worked fine and we came back relaxed and happy.  Our getaway exploded, but it was okay -- and we got another getaway as part of the deal:  like fireworks, it had exploded into something bigger and better.

They say life is what happens while you are making other plans.  One way or another, life is beautiful if you enjoy the journey together.

Alecsandro Andrade de Melo

Photos from sxc.hu.  Images by Alexcandro Andrade de Melo, Vanessa Dean, Krztsztof Kozerski, and Rajmund Barnas.

Alecsandro Andrade de Melo

As For Me, In My House...

PBS has produced several reality shows featuring modern families and individuals who are placed in specific back-in-time situations.  These shows cost millions of dollars to produce and the filming usually happens over the course of several months.  It is fascinating to see the challenges faced by people of the past and it is very instructive to observe the attitudes and strategies of the people of the present.  These shows have provided fodder for many a dining table conversation!

We watched 1900 House, set in Victorian England, when it aired fifteen years ago.  At the time there was a call for applicants for their upcoming Frontier House, set in the American West.  I had my fifth child that summer.  Though we did not apply, we seriously considered it and we felt connected to the show.  Years later, when we found the Frontier House set at the library, we watched with interest and dismay as the community fell apart.  Shortly after the show ended, two of the three families were split by divorce, an outcome which surprised none of us.  Sadly, we had watched the children suffer while the adults squabbled.

Our local library has acquired several of these shows and we have checked out most of them.  Admittedly, we have not opted to finish them all:  sometimes the content becomes inappropriate and sometimes the selfishness and contention become unbearable.  In most of them we have picked out a hero or two.  As with many other reality shows, it seems that participants were pulled from the thousands (and tens of thousands) of applicants on the basis of their drama (read contention) potential.  It is always easy to spot those with weak character -- and the villains.

1940's House, set in wartime London, was our favorite
because it ended happily and the participants' lives were bettered by the experience.  This multi-generational family experienced a great deal of stress as they dealt with bombings and rationing, but they knew how the war would end.  They had visits from generous people who had lived through the war and the mother and grandmother learned how to budget, cook and give of themselves.  The two little boys, who attended a regular English school during their adventure, enthusiastically stepped up to their wartime responsibilities and learned to make their own fun.  Sleeping outside in a bomb shelter was like an exciting campout for them!  The grandma was most changed, choosing to live a quieter, more connected and thrifty life upon her return to the twenty-first century.

We have recently watched a few episodes of Colonial House, set in Maine in the 1600's.  Like Ranch House, an 1800's cattle drive scenario, the main points of contention have to do with feminism, atheism, and intemperance.  We have watched as the colonists forced their leader to make moral stands that bring his strong personal religious beliefs up against his commitment to uphold order and fulfill his duties.  Also like Ranch House and Frontier House, the main problems stem from the determined folly of one or two very selfish and misguided women.

In case you're wondering, I am not recommending these shows; but they provided instructive examples for me as I was led to ponder on Clarke House and the power my life has in our reality experience.  We don't have millions of viewers deciding I am the villein, but my life has influence around here, anyway.  Through the examples of these women, good and bad, I have seen myself.  The most divisive characters -- by far -- are women, who often lead their generous or weak husbands and children into embarrassment and disaster.  The strongest characters we have seen are also women:  young women, quietly loving and serving -- and sometimes even standing up and publicly declaring their personal faith in Christ when nobody else would.  That is moral strength.



Women have remarkable power, particularly as they support and strengthen and lead with love.  That is the kind of woman I want to be -- and the kind I am trying to raise at my house.

Will You Take It With You?

My dad passed away last year.  I have thought a lot about the things we leave behind and the things we take with us.  Yes, whatever we may share and leave, we do take things with us!

In a conversation a few years ago, a friend shared his thoughts about ARK: the Attitudes, Relationships, and Knowledge that accompany us from this life.  Since then, I have also thought about the imperative need to also leave these things behind to bless the lives of others.

This is not about stuff.  Like it or not, someone else will have my stuff.  Housefuls, even storage units full of stuff are often what we think of people leaving behind, as trash or treasure, to be cared for by others.  Stuff?  People can steal stuff.  Strangers can (and probably will) buy my stuff at the Goodwill after I am gone.  Still other strangers may inherit my stuff as it becomes the stuff of Humanitarian Projects that extend throughout the world.  Some of my stuff probably deserves a direct trip to the landfill, and I should do everyone the favor of sending it there myself, before others have to sort through it and get sick of the me that used to be and resent the one I still am, somewhere out of reach.  Hopefully, my children will have better sense than to argue over any of my stupid old Stuff.

On the other hand; I know that, beyond the grave, my immortal soul will continue -- and with it will continue my attitudes.  Alma 34:34 reminds us that "that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life...will have power to possess your body in that eternal world."  This life is the time for us to prepare to meet God, which means (at least in part) that this is the time for us to choose to obey and to choose the way we feel about obedience.  Are we happy?  If not, why not?  And why not now?

Attitudes seem very personal and private, but we share them all the time.  Like it or not, I am sharing my attitudes with every breath, every typed or written word, every smile or frown or gesture or song.  I share my attitudes in the colors I choose to wear, the manner in which I clean my house (or not), the way I serve meals, and everything else!  Would we be more deliberate in choosing our attitudes if we could see the profound ways in which we impact the wider world, including (but not limited to) the hearts of those around us?  Philosophers the world over have spoken about this and even now physical evidence is beginning to verify their ideas (Masaru Emoto's work with water is fascinating and visually stunning), but the point is:  Attitude Matters.

Relationships also continue beyond the grave.  Our hearts do not forget the loves (or the hates) that we create on earth.  We have been warned that even unresolved addictions will torment us, since in a pre-resurrected state we do not have bodies with which to overcome them.  Doctrine and Covenants 130:2 has long been a comfort and a warning, for if "that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, and if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come....coupled with eternal glory," we need to be personally prepared to enjoy eternal glory -- and work now to create relationships worth exalting.  Are we building meaningful relationships?  Are we building people as we relate with them?  Do we relate better with stuff than with people?  What kind of future reunion are we preparing for now -- with each and every person we meet and know?

When I think of the eternal nature of relationships, I am reminded of my gratitude to Christ for the chance to change and truly improve.  I know I have not been perfect in my relationships, but He can improve them and make them worthy of exaltation.


Knowledge includes our skills, talents, memories, learning, experiences, and testimony.  As anyone who has had a near-death experience will relate, after death we remember everything from our lives -- the good and the bad.  Doctrine & Covenants 130:18-19 tells us that we take our knowledge with us into the resurrection and that "if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come."  The good news is that our knowledge goes with us; but the horrible news is that, if we have not shared it, our knowledge goes with us.  That means that a main part of our lives should be making preparations to share the knowledge we have gained with the people around us -- and those who will come after.



In practical terms, what does this mean?  This is a message of action.  Read a book or take a class, of course -- but also teach a skill!  Write your experiences and memories.  Have you worked hard to learn something?  Share it.  If you have learned eternal Truths, spread your understanding. These are your true riches, with which you can bless the world.

What's in your ARK?  And what does it have to do with Motherhood?


Everything.




Photos from sxc.hu.  Artwork of Norriuke, Crissy Pauley, Benjamin Earwicker, Mathieu Boyer, and Odan Jaeger.