Tipping Points

In The Tipping Point, one of Malcolm Gladwell’s thought-provoking books, the author uses multiple examples to demonstrate how big – and sometimes sweeping – consequences emerge out of seemingly small events or situations.  He shows how (as he says in his subtitle) “Little Things Can Make a Big Difference”:  violent crime on city streets has been arrested by cracking down on petty infractions such as graffiti, jaywalking, and panhandling; fashion trends become epidemics because of the remarkable gifts of a few well-connected people; religious seminarians in a hurry literally step over an opportunity to be a "Good Samaritan."

One surprising statistical difference equates the presence of only a few professionals in a neighborhood (fewer than 5%) with keeping drug abuse and teen dropout and pregnancy rates down.  It could be frustrating to be one of the 4% of professionals in a neighborhood; one might not suspect that the neighborhood might literally “go to pot” if he moved!  Yet the presence of even one directed person may have a surprisingly powerful influence for good on his entire community – indeed, his very presence may be a decisive factor in providing light, hope, and safety for everyone.

In context of our society’s crumbling moral norms, I have been led to wonder what our tipping points for total disintegration might be – and whose quiet strength might be helping to hold destruction at bay.   It takes courage for adults and children to choose to cheerfully resist peer pressure even when it appears “everybody else is doing it” with no apparent consequences.  Naturally, the thought that one is withstanding the pain of persecution for the benefit of those who inflict it may bring out vindictive feelings, but when we consider more closely we realize that this willing gift is the essence of Christianity.

The reality is that people can choose to change if they have hope – and that you and your loved ones benefit from every semblance of order and goodness in the larger community in which you live.  If it seems “nobody else” is doing what you believe is right, your continued firmness in doing it anyway serves for the good of everyone.  Like the Jimmy Stewart hero in It’s a Wonderful Life, we rarely see the full impact our lives have had on the world around us.  Whether or not we ever know, the effort is worth it.

Directed parenthood is one of the main things that "tips" the world in favor of goodness.  Repeated studies of positive outcomes in successful families suggest that the biggest defining factor is a father in the home; I believe that the possibility of a nurturing mother is also much higher in a home where the father is present.  Wisely choosing a spouse is important, but what comes during the Ever After part of marriage really defines its ultimate success.  When the parents’ marriage is intact, the husband and wife have learned to get along and support one another, for one thing; for another, a mother is more likely to have the necessary time and freedom to nurture when there is a paternal provider.   I know that much of the growth I have experienced is due to the love and support of my remarkable husband.

The following essays are the observations of an ordinary God-fearing housewife with a modicum of common sense, not those of a credentialed researcher who needs to impress colleagues or who has something to gain.  I know nobody wants my job; I would not trade my role as Mother for any other.  My  focus is on ways women become the nurturing and supportive Strength that we identify with Motherhood.