Metamorphosis Into Mother

I recently met a young mother, in the last weeks of pregnancy with her third child.  It had been an act of faith to invite this baby; the difficult emotional challenges she had faced with her first two had caused her to question her decision to marry and stay home with her previous children.  She had worried that these difficulties had been caused by marrying too young, or by otherwise being unprepared for motherhood; her marriage had suffered as she had struggled.  She happily reported that she was eagerly anticipating the birth of her third child and wished that she had experienced similarly joyful emotions with the births of her two older sons.

The details of this woman's story may be unique, but the experience is common to many.  The pain experienced as we make the transition into motherhood cannot fully be explained away by hormones, since women who adopt experience many of the same challenges.  I have observed women who returned to work shortly after giving birth express disgust with the "wimpiness" of their sisters or neighbors who have chosen to remain at home with children; when it became "financially wise" to stay home with their own children, they were unprepared for the struggles inherent in the experience.   I have seen women from many walks of life seek a variety of ways to escape the pain that they do not understand or try to explain away with blame for others, their choices, or for the teachings of parents or religious leaders -- and I have seen the miracle of transformation in the lives of those who have chosen to faithfully embrace this opportunity to develop their unique, feminine gifts to become mothers in the most true and beautiful sense of the word.

Before she ever bore children, Adam identified Eve with a title that expressed her Motherhood.  This fact, along with observation of numerous women through the decades of my life, indicates to me that motherhood is not automatically equated with maternity, though the loving nurturing of children may be the most common route to achieve it.

Like the transformative metamorphosis which creates a butterfly, Motherhood requires effort and it is not always comfortable.  We would naturally expect discomfort for the caterpillar in its cocoon; becoming all that motherhood requires is an even greater change.  We are best able to become as we understand, accept, and embrace all that such a metamorphosis requires, without reeling as if we are undergoing cruel and unusual punishment.



All photos courtesy of sxc.hu.