Consecrated Marriage

I knew when I married him that my husband was a man who loved Jesus Christ and was willing to serve Him.  That is what I was looking for, after all.  Because he was committed to keeping all of God's commandments, I knew I could trust my husband and support him.

From the start, my husband has been given opportunities to serve in time-consuming callings of responsibility.  We had two preschoolers when he was called to serve as the second counselor to our new bishop.  This meant at least fourteen hours away from home on Sundays, in addition to at least two weeknights out each week, monthly camp-outs and a week-long scouting adventure each year.  His work was nearly an hour away; he owned a fledgling company which required a lot of his attention and brought in money sparingly and sporadically.  He was also taking evening classes to complete a degree, which took whatever spare time he had.  With a miscarriage immediately followed by children twelve months apart, this was not an easy time for me and I confess that, despite his loving efforts, I sometimes felt abandoned.  I know it was difficult for him, too.

I received a flash of revelation one year, as I listened to General Conference.  This came during the Statistical Report, not a usual time for great epiphanies!  As the thousands of wards, branches, districts, stakes, and temples were enumerated, I started to recognize that each of these had four or five families who were impacted the way mine was -- and every few years, people changed callings, so (theoretically) everyone took turns!  I realized that, even though my husband had never sought opportunities to lead in our church community, he -- and I -- had volunteered years before, when we deliberately chose to lead Christ-directed, consecrated lives; if God wouldn't want him, I realized, I wouldn't either.  I had chosen him because he wanted to follow God, and I could not blame God for calling on him -- or on me to willingly offer Him the most precious thing I had or hoped to have:  time with my husband.

This helped alter my attitude to one of genuine rejoicing in each phase of my husband's ministry.  Since that dawning, eighteen years ago, I can honestly say that I have had opportunities to try again and demonstrate that I have truly changed.  I know that my attitudes, whatever my words might be, will profoundly influence each of my children, whether they are sons or daughters; I cannot fake honest appreciation for the blessings of my husband's opportunies to serve.  There have been inconveniences, for sure (nobody plans their suicide with the bishop's dinner schedule in mind), but the blessings of marriage to a godly man far outweigh any possible downsides.

All photos courtesy of sxc.hu.